Teen Anxiety- Tips From a Teen Therapist on How to Support your Teen When They Are Anxious
Teen Anxiety is very common
But when do you know if it’s stress vs anxiety? And when is what they are going through an opportunity for a teen to grow and learn versus when has it become something they need more support with from you or with the help of teen counseling?
Stress vs. Anxiety
Stress tends to have a beginning and an end and can be linked back to a specific event occurring in one’s life. It tends to be short-term and ends once the trigger has gone away. Think too much homework in one night or a friend who is mad at them.
Anxiety is longer-term; it does not have a specific trigger and does not seem to go away even when there are no clear pressures or concerns. It also tends to be accompanied by negative self-talk, and persistent worry, and despite reasons why these worries are not grounded in reality the worries persist. Humans often grow and thrive under a certain level of stress. It’s a common part of our existence and our thriving.
Healthy stress can look like this:
having more focus
demanding more structure to be successful
asking for new boundaries to attain a goal
temporarily letting go of pleasure activities
temporary struggles with eating or sleeping
a temporary rise in agitation levels, like anger and impatient
One Key Element to Consider For Your Teen is The Duration of Time.
Stress that is resolved within a week or two is normal. Stress that continues for weeks on end despite the completion of projects or commitments is worth investigating. Unresolved stress and persistent stress can start to turn toward anxiety. Anxiety is a clinical word for persistent stress with no trigger that undermines a person’s ability to thrive in their daily life and relationships and often co-occurs with negative self-talk and belief systems.
Anxiety Can Look Like Some or All of The Following Behaviors:
persistent inability to focus
persistent rigidity that does not allow for any modifications
persistent perfectionism
persistent negative self-talk about themself or their lives
persistent inability to sleep or eat
communication tends toward conflict or there is no communication
over-exercising
not socializing or withdrawn
avoiding social activities they normally pursue
video game time or social media time has increased
too many commitments
self-harm
Teens Live in a World That is Very Different From What We Grew Up in.
It is filled with even more pressures, complications, and unknowns than many of us had known as teens. The most obvious difference is the impact of social media access on their growing brains and emotional experiences. It is a foregone conclusion that these things are impacting their mental health. Research connects teen anxiety and depression directly to social media use. It is not a radical act to limit their time on social media or video games. Even if it means they miss some hang-out time with friends online. It is common for a stressed teen to get lost in the scrolling of Tick Tock because that is more soothing than dealing with how to organize a to-do list of homework they are behind on. Then to look at so many images of airbrushed girls to then decide they are not pretty enough and further be distracted by negative self-talk.
But they are also dealing with less frivolous pressures and trying to make sense of the world they will soon be adults in. Many teens are aware enough to understand economics, the environment, college competition, violence, and so on. While it would be wonderful to shield them from all these issues they do know they are occurring and think about them on a regular basis. Some are understandably struggling to make sense of them and find a positive mindset that inspires them to hope for their future.
Ways to Support Your Teen if You Think They Are in Over Their Head With Anxiety:
Schedule - take a look at their schedule. Are they getting enough sleep? Do they have any downtime available to them to wander and watch the clouds float by? Or is every hour accounted for?
School Environment- What kind of school does your kid go to? What is supported? Only excellence all the time? Joyful play? Meaningful engagement with their interests? Academics that are directed toward how to learn or how to get the right grade for college transcript.? How many hours of homework is required?
Commitments- Does your teen feel obligated to many activities or people? Could they benefit from less?
Self-Care- Does your teen eat well? Sleep well? Exercise or engage in a fun passion? Just 30 min a day is a proven method to decrease stress.
Connections with Friends- Does your teen have friends who they feel valued and understood by? Can they be their goofy self with these friends or do they constantly fear judgment, shame, and gossip?
Genetics-What is your family history of depression and anxiety? If other adults have benefitted from counseling or medication, it’s not unreasonable to think their genetic offspring would benefit as well.
Learning Difference- many learning differences like ADHD, dyslexia, dyscalculia, and slower reading or comprehension can fly under the radar until upper elementary or middle school. But as academic success requires more self-created accountability kids can begin to falter. Anxiety is a common symptom of that experience. If you suspect your teen may have some academic struggles ask your school about tutoring, testing, and other resources they can get.
Family Conflicts or Silence- teens who have gone through a recent divorce in their families or are navigating a new step-parent or whose parents are in lots of conflict themselves or under lots of stress show signs of anxiety. Your teen may just need to talk through some feelings about the impacts of family conflict on them. Family Counseling is also a very helpful way to support families through big transitions.
Trauma- has your teen been involved in a traumatic loss or difficult event in their childhood or recently that could have set up more worry in their lives? If so counseling can help resolve unprocessed traumatic events.
Once You Have Considered All These Elements, Talk to Your Teen About Them.
Go through the list together. What would they identify, that you did not know they were struggling with? Do they want to make a few schedule changes? See if the stress patterns go away with a few changes. If it seems like your teen is anxious for no clear reason or has a lot of negative self-talk, then it may be they are dealing with anxiety. Ask them if they would like to get more support from you, a book about anxiety, or a counselor. If you are concerned about your teen navigating too much stress or anxiety symptoms then it is reasonable for you to start a conversation with them.
Tell them about your concern. Ask them if they are concerned. Determine if they are interested in making changes. Are they willing to get support from a parent or relative or an older sibling? If you determine they are not aware of the impact of their anxiety on themselves or others and they are unwilling to be proactive then looking into a way to work with a teen therapist is a good idea. You may start with just a consult with a mental health professional on your own. Or you can start together and use the counseling time to support and facilitate a conversation.
You can contact us at Shade Tree Family Counseling to explore this topic further if you have more questions or are seeking more support.
Overcome Your Anxiety With Teen Counseling in Salt Lake City, UT
Feeling overwhelmed by anxiety? It's time to take control and seek support with teen counseling in Salt Lake City, UT. Our team of compassionate teen therapists at Shade Tree Family Counseling is here to provide a safe space for teens and parents to navigate through anxiety and build resilience. Reach out and let's embark on a journey towards inner peace and empowerment together. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
Begin meeting with a skilled teen therapist
Start seeing positive changes in your teen’s anxiety symptoms!
Other Services Offered at Shade Tree Family Counseling
At Shade Tree Family Counseling, we want to provide support for the whole family. So in addition to helping your teen manage their anxiety in teen counseling, our team offers EMDR-Trauma Therapy for those struggling to overcome past trauma and want to begin healing, and Teen Group Therapy for teens looking for extra support from those their own age. For more about teen counseling check out our blog!